these days
Hi Friends!
Without the structure of travel its been kinda tough to keep up with the blog.
I thought I might write about wedding planning as a queer, but mostly I've been tied up with wedding planning as a queer.
Plus whenever I got a little steam in me over it, it was the resentful-I'll-probably-hurt-someone's-feelings sort of steam. Wedding culture is dripping with hetero privilege and I have a few too many straight allies to rail too hard against them.
Plus, you know I'm "queer" and I have never hid my own occasional opposite sex coupling - though I tried to avoid the privilege. So anyhow betwixt getting really pissy and then feeling guilty about it, I haven't really found the right opportunity to publicly blog about it.
Until now. Dre misses my blog and we are hanging out getting saucy on red wine, mid-week and planning bits and pieces of our big day and I'm just feeling good about stuff and ready to write about it.
We are less than 90 days out from our wedding day. We know this fact intimately because on Monday we purchased our wedding license. Did you hear that?!?! Our legally binding license!!!
Last week sure was a boon for gays. First there was the repeal of DOMA then the obliteration to the opposition to the obliteration of Prop 8 and then Pride!
Okay a quick word on Pride. When I say Pride (as in the one I attend), I really am referring to Dyke March. Dyke March has gotten to be a little too much like Pride, but SF Pride is way too much like itself for me to love it at all. Every year I say I am not going to touch it w/ a ten foot pole, but then some friend wants to meet there before we go somewhere better.
Whats wrong w/ Pride? Aggressive, privileged straight people. That probably sounds harsh but if you've ever gone you know its true. Or you don't know its true, because you are straight and aggressive. Seriously within 5 minutes of arriving to meet friends at Pride on Sunday I was party to a conversation between a crew of straight folks talking about how they aren't friends with any "gay, frat dudes" and they didn't literally mean homo-gay, they meant eww "gay.". Then when I peacefully brought the offenders attention to their offense a tall straight guy tried to front and silence me. Ugh.
That's why I love Dyke March. Dyke March is populated by dykes and other queers (mostly). Its so celebratory and fun and almost everyone I've ever encountered has some level of consciousness about the event's intent. Its more of a true community affair. Though it has gotten bigger (and straighter).
But enough of that.
Dre and I have a marriage license!!!
I had been holding out hope that the Supreme Court would rule in our favor, but Dre was less convinced. All the same, we were overjoyed as the news came in. And also worried. Shit - is it going to get taken away again? Now she really, really is hitching her wagon to my less-than-stellar credit (sigh). But mostly overjoyed. It really does lend this whole new legibility to our decision to get married and I imagine makes it a little easier for some of my more conservative associates accept the legitimacy of our wedding.
So we spent Monday ordering invitations, buying beer for the reception, looking over the Oakland/Alameda estuary with starry eyes and filling out our county paperwork.
Oh, speaking of buying beer. We bought a bunch thinking we were going to store it in our storage unit (something we acquired when my soon to be in-laws needed us to take in a whole lifetime of Dre's possessions and family heirlooms), which we access through an elevator, but then Dre became convinced that it was too hot to store the beer there. I was less convinced, as I am intimately familiar w/ how hot our actual apartment gets and wasn't convinced the storage unit would get any hotter. But Dre was, so we toted 5 24-bottle cases of beer up 3 flights of stairs to be stored in our closet until September. But now Dre is worried that buying beer nearly three months in advance was a bit premature and is anxious about spoilage. Any advice?
Monday was also the day Dre's brother moved out. Okay it was supposed to be, but he really didn't take all of his stuff till Tuesday - but it still felt like a big day, a new corner turned in our relationship. We loved having Jordan here (I especially did!!!) but its nice to have a living room again. And with all these big changes this week we've been all kissy and happy and eating popcorn in bed and wedding planning.
Oh. Some other news. Two of my favorites had a baby.
Without the structure of travel its been kinda tough to keep up with the blog.
I thought I might write about wedding planning as a queer, but mostly I've been tied up with wedding planning as a queer.
Plus whenever I got a little steam in me over it, it was the resentful-I'll-probably-hurt-someone's-feelings sort of steam. Wedding culture is dripping with hetero privilege and I have a few too many straight allies to rail too hard against them.
Plus, you know I'm "queer" and I have never hid my own occasional opposite sex coupling - though I tried to avoid the privilege. So anyhow betwixt getting really pissy and then feeling guilty about it, I haven't really found the right opportunity to publicly blog about it.
Until now. Dre misses my blog and we are hanging out getting saucy on red wine, mid-week and planning bits and pieces of our big day and I'm just feeling good about stuff and ready to write about it.
 |
| love drunk. |
We are less than 90 days out from our wedding day. We know this fact intimately because on Monday we purchased our wedding license. Did you hear that?!?! Our legally binding license!!!
Last week sure was a boon for gays. First there was the repeal of DOMA then the obliteration to the opposition to the obliteration of Prop 8 and then Pride!
Okay a quick word on Pride. When I say Pride (as in the one I attend), I really am referring to Dyke March. Dyke March has gotten to be a little too much like Pride, but SF Pride is way too much like itself for me to love it at all. Every year I say I am not going to touch it w/ a ten foot pole, but then some friend wants to meet there before we go somewhere better.
Whats wrong w/ Pride? Aggressive, privileged straight people. That probably sounds harsh but if you've ever gone you know its true. Or you don't know its true, because you are straight and aggressive. Seriously within 5 minutes of arriving to meet friends at Pride on Sunday I was party to a conversation between a crew of straight folks talking about how they aren't friends with any "gay, frat dudes" and they didn't literally mean homo-gay, they meant eww "gay.". Then when I peacefully brought the offenders attention to their offense a tall straight guy tried to front and silence me. Ugh.
 |
| Okay, these folks made a Civic Center exit worth it. |
 |
| Queerly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life. |
That's why I love Dyke March. Dyke March is populated by dykes and other queers (mostly). Its so celebratory and fun and almost everyone I've ever encountered has some level of consciousness about the event's intent. Its more of a true community affair. Though it has gotten bigger (and straighter).
 |
| breath of fresh queers |
But enough of that.
Dre and I have a marriage license!!!
I had been holding out hope that the Supreme Court would rule in our favor, but Dre was less convinced. All the same, we were overjoyed as the news came in. And also worried. Shit - is it going to get taken away again? Now she really, really is hitching her wagon to my less-than-stellar credit (sigh). But mostly overjoyed. It really does lend this whole new legibility to our decision to get married and I imagine makes it a little easier for some of my more conservative associates accept the legitimacy of our wedding.
So we spent Monday ordering invitations, buying beer for the reception, looking over the Oakland/Alameda estuary with starry eyes and filling out our county paperwork.
Oh, speaking of buying beer. We bought a bunch thinking we were going to store it in our storage unit (something we acquired when my soon to be in-laws needed us to take in a whole lifetime of Dre's possessions and family heirlooms), which we access through an elevator, but then Dre became convinced that it was too hot to store the beer there. I was less convinced, as I am intimately familiar w/ how hot our actual apartment gets and wasn't convinced the storage unit would get any hotter. But Dre was, so we toted 5 24-bottle cases of beer up 3 flights of stairs to be stored in our closet until September. But now Dre is worried that buying beer nearly three months in advance was a bit premature and is anxious about spoilage. Any advice?
Monday was also the day Dre's brother moved out. Okay it was supposed to be, but he really didn't take all of his stuff till Tuesday - but it still felt like a big day, a new corner turned in our relationship. We loved having Jordan here (I especially did!!!) but its nice to have a living room again. And with all these big changes this week we've been all kissy and happy and eating popcorn in bed and wedding planning.
Oh. Some other news. Two of my favorites had a baby.
 |
| something to be seriously proud of. |
Comments
Post a Comment